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I know I have not been doing this for long but….is it normal to feel the need to check my stats every time I check my e-mail? Or to wonder exactly who did that search on rabid chipmunks and ended up here? Someone please tell me this will wear off before I become Sally Field-“You like me!.. You really like me!”—Are all 29 of you still listening?? hellooo???
For years now I have felt like something of a second-class Christian because I have been unable (no matter how very hard I tried) to have a “quiet-time” with the Lord early in the morning each day. Between night-owl little boys and early-bird little boys Mommy cannot keep up and beat them up in the morning (unfortunate word choice–I meant rise before them not smack them around for being up!) With pregnancies and surgery recovery and various all-nighters with sick ones, events have always conspired to leave me on the sleep-deprived side of the scale. Sleep-deprived and thoughtful time with my Lord do not cohabitate well.
About 4 years ago my husband gave me permission of sorts to have a time in the evening before bed as sort of a second-best option. The idea being that if you cannot prepare for your day in the morning on a consistent basis, then maybe doing it the night before will work. Even evening time after a full busy day left my mind more mushy than I like when meeting my Lord.
I continued to struggle to find time to set aside and meet my Lord as has always been prescribed and to feel ashamed of my poor successes. What works best for me is what I have been doing in lieu of “the real thing” for a long time now. Ironically I have just read a book that gives me permission to do just that!!
Heres the deal…accept the fact that this is a noisy time in my life! All the refs to a devotional time say evening and morning and all through the day—I CAN do small snatches in the evening and the morning and all through the day! I pray best when I pray for the things the Lord brings to mind at the exact moment he does it. This also allows me to avoid that no-no with toddlers around–extended periods with your eyes closed! I can keep my Bible open on my desk in the school room for moments between things and on my kitchen counter for those times I am waiting for the buzzer to ring.
Instead of gorging in the AM-I snack through the day-because I am constantly on the look out for moments the Lord is on my mind more too. Little bites keep me eager for more too–like nibbling the edge of a cake instead of cutting off a whole piece -you keep going back to even off the edge and nibbling more and more-ending up eating much more cake than if you had just taken the whole bloomin piece in the first place.
Instead of trying to mold my life to the model of someone else’s ideal I have finally accepted that this is a noisy time of my life and I will have noisy times with the Lord. He should be part of every part of my life anyway-right?
Now for the huge unforseen benefit… (the first part came from the book Passionate Housewives Desperate for God by Chancey and McDonald –here is what I have realized as I thought about it) My kids see me with my Lord!!! DUH!!! I realized that when the girls were little they probably saw me doing my hair more often than they saw me pray or even hold my Bible! (and I am not a “hair person”) Following the old prescribed method had me done with my time with God before they ever woke up! It took a small herd?/ horde?/ army? of boys to turn me into an example for my children.
I love being able to tell the little guys about something I just “found” when they zoom past (mommy..mommy.. say super windon–SUUUPER WINDONNNNN……schhhhoooom!) I think they are starting to see the Bible like some sort of treasure box–cool huh?
I also like stopping to pray with them when they bring something up–may not sound like a big deal but believe it or not I have heard moms tell their children that yes we will pray about that when we pray before bed tonight. My pattern is to jump to prayer when prompted so it is easy to do that with them and share the joy of an ever-present Father with their little hearts.
I can now embrace,enjoy and anticipate my noisy time-I am told often enough that it will be all too quiet all too soon! My God gave me my noisy life and my God deserves to be in the center of it-I revel in it all!
After much pushing and prodding- here I am -blogging! I think my man has some vague notion of improving my grammar/punctuation skills-either that or he wants some company out here in the void beyond most folks’ blogrolls! (heeelllooooo????) I am still unsure if my misgivings on this venture are because I am afraid noone will read me or that I have nothing to say worth reading. I dont want to do this so frequently that I have to show folks pictures of my homemade laundry soap just to have something to post but the occasional rant on a pet subject should be fun! (should save my friends an earful too!)
WARNING: I tend to use the Emily Dickenson school of punctuating and I prefer to write as it should sound-rather than the uummm…right way? So if you are in the mood for a very one-sided conversation about not much of anything–hey! pull yurself up a chair–later–now I am going to play with some gizmos and stuff to make this new-fangled toy right purty!!